Ew. Valentine's Day. Featuring Jessi and Old People.

I hate Valentine's day. Not just because I'm single. Just had to say that.

I know I just posted on Saturday, but I had to share this.

Old People
By Taylor and Jessi.
Edited for grammar and spelling, since we texted the whole thing.

(After a long chat about cackley grandpas)

T: Why are people letting you into retirement homes?
J: My great-grandma was living there.
T: You shouldn't be allowed around old people.
J: Why would I want to be around old people? They stink.
T: Not all of them.
J: I wanted to put them in a garbage bag. But I couldn't, so I just sprayed them with Febreeze.
T: You sprayed old people with Febreeze?
J: Yeah. The whole place smelled better.
T: OK then. Never visiting old people with you. Ever.
J: Why? Unless you're an old person, you have nothing to worry about.
T: Except the cops.
J: Security was laughing. Why do old people need security?
T: In case they run away. Would you like it if someone lost your old person?
J: I would sue if someone lost my old person.
T: And that's why they need security.
J: But why do they need buff guys? Kirbie could stop an old person.
[Side note: Kirbie is about 4 feet tall and weighs 80 pounds.]
T: Not an old person with... A BLACK BELT!
J: What old person has a black belt?
T: STOP KILLING MY HAPPINESS!

Aren't my friends awesome?

Love and zombies,
Me.

No comments:

Post a Comment